Club Daycare!

This story always has people laughing...

I recently started working at a daycare because I wanted to see how daycares operated. I think I want to start one when I become a pastor. The daycare I work at never has a dull moment, something is always popping off. If I could, I would do a reality show about this daycare and here is why...


This was my first day at the job and right off I could tell that this place was off the chain. The kids were everywhere doing what they wanted and staff was to themselves. I was observing the scene to figure out what I got myself into. I am not going to give the names out. The head assistant asked me to put on a CD for circle time. I said, cool. I walk over and put the CD on and this one child didn't want to listen and participate in circle time. He wanted to play with the toys. So the assistant said to put on Number 5 on the CD. Now, the child that didn't want to particpate in circle time heard the CD come on. And all of sudden he turn and started dancing and saying.."OOOO this is my Shit, Popcorn, Popcorn! The song was called, "Popcorn Song". Then he went over to a girl and said, Come on girl, let's dance. She pushed and said leave me alone. He said forget you then and kept on dancing.

I'm sitting thinking to myself..I didn't know circle time was a club for 4 year olds.


All I gotta say is...Popcorn...

You Know Jesus Right?!?

Hey Sorry for not writing in awhile. This is another Woody and Nuggy adventure.

My nephew who I love to death is now 4 years old. He spends some weekends with me and attends church with me. So, right now I am in Kutztown working with Pastor Keith at his church. I preach every so often. Now, the house I live in is owned by the church and it just so happens it has a ghost. This is a story about Nuggy's first ghost sighting!

This one Saturday, I was writing my sermon in my room and my nephew was in the living room playing the Xbox. So, all of sudden he comes running and screaming!!!

Nuggy: (Dressed in only underwear)Woooooody!!!!!!!!!!!! I saw a man he was there then he wasn't there. Where did he go. He was right in front of me and he looked at me then he was gone. Do you know Jesus? Please tell me you know Jesus!

Woody: (Shocked and trying not to laugh) Yes, Nuggy I know Jesus. Are you ok?

Nuggy: (Still trembling, but trying to calm down) Yeah, I am ok. Since you know Jesus. I'm ok. I'm going to go back and play my game!

I really believe Nuggy believes in Jesus. I mean it calmed him down and gave him the courage to keep playing his game...oh child faith.

All I have to say is...Wait until I tell Nuggy about the Holy Spirit!

James Brown's Mini Me

This story is about my brothers bright ideas gone wrong.


I was in high school when this story took place and Puffy Daddy's shaped up Jery curl was in style. My brother luis is the older boy and Chase is the baby. My brother luis was all about being so fresh and clean and Chase was not.

My brother luis bought this perm so his hair could look like Puff Daddy. My mom worked 3rd shift so it was always me and my 2 brothers in the house. This one particular night when I was finished with my homework, I went to bed. So while i was sleeping Luis decides to do his hair and Chase was in the bathroom watching him. Luis wanted to also do Chase's hair...but he refused so Luis takes some perm and slaps it on Chase's hair. Now, Chase has nappier hair than me and Luis.

Chase would always sleep in the bed with me. Morning comes and my mom comes home and comes to my room to talk to me. She wakes me up and says, Where's Chase. I'm thinking in the bed with me...NOPE! I went back to sleep. So she checks Luis room...NOPE. She checks her room...Chase is there with a pillow over his head. She tries to wake him up and take the pillow. He won't get up. So my mom comes in my room and says, what's wrong your brother. I'm like...I don't know. She tells me to come with her. So we go to her room and my mom tells him to get up and kept saying no. She turns on the light and chase says, Turn off the lights I'm depressed. My mom says, get up and go to Woody's room I wanna go to bed. He won't get up so my mom tries to take the pillow that was hiding his head. She struggled...But she got the pillow.

what we saw next was devasting. His hair looked like James' brown's hair in the mugshot. Me and my were shocked and speechless! He's crying! My mom said,Rashion what happened last night, I said i don't know. Then Chase tells us that luis put perm in his hair. She wakes Luis up, Saying what the hell did you do to his hair. Why does he look like James brown..Now at this point I am laughing my ass off...Chase is yelling at me saying it's not funny! Luis didn't answer to why Chase looked like James Brown.

Now, the messed up part was, my mom didn't get paid until Wednesday. my mom curled his hair...so he could go to school on monday..He REALLY looked like james brown. Tuesday she put it in a pony tail. Wednesday she put it in a pony tail and she curled a bang in front of his hair. He got it cut after school on Wednesday.


That was some funny stuff..All I have to say is, He's black and proud cause it's a man's world! LOLOL

Rap Slap

This one has me laugh, and I mean laugh!


Story takes place in Northwest Middle school. There was a challenged boy named Seth. Now Seth loved to rap. Like after school he would have a crowd of people grooving to him rapping. I wouldn't say he would be the next Jay-Z, but he had his thing going.


My cousin Peanut, me and one of our friends Buttermilk. (I know creative ghetto nicknames lol) We decided to skip study hall and walk around the halls...We got up to the second floor and Seth was coming down the hall. Now, when seth walked he looked like he was dancing like MC Hammer! He was always grooving.

So, Buttermilk said to us, I'm gonna have Seth Rap. Now, me and peanut thought it was a bad idea and just wanted him to go on with whatever he was doing. But NO!! Buttermilk wanted him to rap.
So we get closer to Seth and Buttermilk stops him and Seth says, Hi, Woody. I said Hi back.

Buttermilk was about 5'0 tall and about 250lbs. and seth was about 5'11 maybe 125lbs. Buttermilk asks Seth to rap, but Seth said no. Buttermilk kept telling him to rap. Me and peanut told Buttermilk to leave him alone..but Buttermilk would not listen.

So, Seth looks at me and says...ok ok, I'll rap. Seth starts bee boxing and started with his lyrics..

Seth's Lyric: uh, check it, check it yo! yo! I'm about give ya something, pay attention...I was walking down the hall one day minding my buisness, this boy told me to rap i told him no and slapped.....

YO!!!!!! He slapped the taste out of Buttermilk mouth. The slap lifted Buttermilk in the air and threw him. me and peanut both yell out DAMN!!! we look at Buttermilk on the floor and turn and look at Seth walk away. like it was a tennis match. Seth said, See you later Woody and went on with his mc hammer walk.

Buttermilk was crying and slobbering like a baby holding is right side of his face...me and peanut could not stop laughing. He was like, Yo! help me up...I couldn't help i was laughing too much. Peanut helped him up. Then Buttermilk is going to ask us the most stupid question..."Why didn't ya help me?" I was like we tried to help you...we told you to leave him alone. But No! you wanted him to rap...and he slapped! Me and Peanut told like the WHOLE school..Seth slapped the taste out of Buttermilk's mouth.


I wonder where Seth is at now and if he is still rapping. All I have to say is..I hope he does a remix!

Nuggy Vs. Ben-gay (Woody and Nuggy Adventures)

This one is about my nephew Nuggy. I love this little boy!!!! When Nuggy is around people is the center of attention and everyone is like He's so cute so well behaved...I tell people you don't know Nuggy like I know Nuggy! Here's why...


I believe Nuggy was 1 year old when this story took place. Nuggy always messes with my mom and would always go through my mom's stuff on her dressers. She was always tell him to stop and one day he will find what he is looking for...and he did.

One night My mom, Nuggy and me were in my mom's room and nuggy was sleeping. My mom and I were talking and Nuggy woke up. I said, Ahhh man, Nuggy's up. Do you know what this means...and my mom said, No, what does it mean...I said, When you and Butter (nuggy's dad and my baby brother) are sleeping I have I to stay up because nuggy is always doing something that can kill him. My mom laughs. So, some time goes by and my mom fell asleep.

Nuggy and I were still up and we were watching Peter Pan. I had to use the bathroom so I gave nuggy my psp to play with until I got back. I come back from the bathroom walk into my mom's room and Nuggy is no where to be found. I'll like Ahhh damn! So, I start looking for him calling his name...NO NUGGY! My mom is still sleep! (like always).

All of a sudden Nuggy comes from the other side of my mom's room with ALOT of cream on his hands...and he says, "Look Shon Cream" Nuggy rubs his eyes with the cream before i can get to him and all of a sudden he is screaming at the top of his lungs. I realize it is Ben-Gay. I pick Nuggy up and grab some wipes and my mom gets up and says, "What are you niggas doing Now!" I scream out "What do I do" Nuggy is still screaming.

I pick nuggy up like a football and run to the bathroom...my feet were moving like fred flintson when he drives his car. I get Nuggy to the sick and wash out his eyes. He hugs me and says Thank you Shon and he rubs his eyes again...This time He screamed so loud and running in place....like that song, "He's a manic" I forgot to wash his hands. Nuggy must of thought from now on everytime he rubs his eyes they will always burn. He was tramatized.

I wash his face again...this time his hands too! we go back into my mom's room. My mom is still on the edge of the bed laughing and Nuggy acts out what happened so my mom knew. and he sits on my lap and he is still shaking. i told my mom to stop laughing his nerves were bad...that made her laugh even louder. nuggy just watched her laugh and never blinked...he was mad at his nana for laughing at him. But who wouldn't laugh...

I love nuggy dearly but he can get himself into some stuff..All i have to say is..."Hands down, Ben-Gay won that match!

What about your teeth?

This one is dedicated to all my kids out there who stand strong...


I love kids, and when kids are subjected to bullcrap...such as racism it really bothers me. This story I will never forget and so proud of Tay-mare! It's perfect and I didn't have to go to jail!


I was the day camp director for the YMCA's Middle School Camp. Camp back in the day was popping...like we had about 80 teenagers everyday. We had so much fun together. It was like a big family. I actually miss camp! :( My home congregation and the "Y" partnered up and ran camp for over 20 yrs. I remember I was one of the first campers...not Just that I believe I was their first black day camp director. So, my home pastor...Pastor Bruce better known as PB is all about the kids. He really loves his calling. He worked with the "Y" putting this day camp together. And it is still going..not the same but still going. The camp got so big we had to split up the camp and have one for elementary and one for the middle school. I roll better with Middle school kids. So I was the first director for the Middle School Camp...

Well this one particular summer was extra special...mad funny stuff happened. However the "Y" hired a new Youth Program Director; His name was Mike. The guy before him, Neil was our man. When Neil left everything was different and I mean that. We really missed Neil. He was about the kids no matter their skin color. Neil is my Doughboy!!!

Mike was not about the project kids. He gave little interest and the staff and kids picked it up right away. Mike and I didn't see eye to eye on A LOT of things. However, we worked together...we made it work. Mike has a huge problem with his mouth. Like his gums are diseased and they look like a rainbow. His mouth is so messed up...he should hand a written warning to people letting them know is mouth is jacked up before he speaks...that bad. When I first met him. He said Hi, and I jumped back in my chair...Sorry but that's what happened. Trying not to make fun of him...He has a condition!


Anyway, PB and I believe in education. Every morning when the kids came in they had to do a half a hour study of math and reading. We made it fun for them. We didn't want them to fall behind for the upcoming school year. PB, was going on vacation and he wanted Mike to come in and do the morning lessons for the week with the campers. I told PB that it was not going to be a good idea. Mike hasn't come into camp to see the kids and we only had 3 more weeks left of camp. Camp went on for 8 weeks. However, Pb knows everything and said, "No, he needs to come in here and be with these kids. I'm tired of this." I knew deep down inside this was not going to be a good thing. However, this is what PB wanted.

So, I told my staff Mike was going to be coming in and they didn't like the idea either. They knew what it was hitting for. So, Monday morning... he comes Mike. HE was smiling and for some reason his mouth was extra diseased! We are all down in the fellowship hall and I'm sitting on the stairs behind Mike and he as is the podium. So he goes over the lesson. Then he asked one of the staff to collect the pencils and papers. Then for some reason he felt he needed to do some extra teaching.

Mike: I really need to talk to you guys about something. Does everyone know what the YMCA is right? (like the kids didn't already know. I'm sitting there thinking it is about to go bad). The YMCA runs this camp and you need to understand that. So, every morning I want you kids to look like you understand this. I don't want you in dirty clothes. You need to take baths, can't come in here stinking. (At this point the staff and kids are looking at him like they wanted to rock his head.) You need to comb your hair. You can't come in here looking anyway. You need to represent this camp when we go out into the public. You need to keep up your hygiene.

Side note...the campers are mostly Black and Puerto Rican....so was my staff except for Kara (she's white...but she ghetto, love you kara) Maybe one kid would stink but that would be after they played basketball. The kids wore like name brand clothes and name brand sneakers...Mike shopped for clothes at Kmart! I know I went with him one time.

Back to the story: Tay-mare who can't fight his way out of a wet paper bag was sitting in the back of the room. All of sudden, he raises his hand all nice and Christian like. And Mike said, Yes, Tay-mare. Tay-mare stands up and says, "WHAT ABOUT YOUR TEETH!" Yo!!! the whole camp busted out laughing. I wanted to laugh so bad but Mike turned around and looked at me. So, I had to put on a face. Now, the face I put must of been scary because everyone stopped laughing when I stood up. I said, Tay-mare come with me NOW!! Now, Tay-mare is looking all scared. Mike said, Woody I want him out of this camp. I said, Don't worry Mike I will handle this.

So, Tay-mare and I go back to my office...he still looking scared saying I'm sorry Woody. I tell him to go straight to my office...I'm behind him and I close the door. I said, OH MY GOD!! That was some funny stuff..give me a high five. WHAT ABOUT YOUR TEETH...THAT WAS BRILLIANT!!! Me and Tay laughed so loud everyone heard and started laughing.

Mike busted up into my office...What is going on?!! ( He demanded) I said, What about your teeth? You come up in here disrespected these kids with your racist mentality. I'm not kicking Tay out of camp. I would be wrong if I did that. What he did was right...because the condition of your mouth doesn't represent the YMCA!!! So, he said If I didn't send him home he would fire me. So, I sat down in my chair and thought for a moment. Tay-mare said, It's cool Woody, camp won't be the same if you are not here, so I will go home. I said, "Sit down Tay" and I stood up and said to Mike, "Fire me and I will let everyone know the real reason." Then we will see who represents the YMCA" He was PISSED!!!!! I didn't care! He deserved that! He left my office and I let him know we didn't need his services for the rest of the week.


Man, those were the days...I hate that kids have to be subjected to racism...All I have to say is...What about your teeth!

Peace!

We don't look for shit (Stereotypes are not that bad, they might end up saving your life)

Before I start...let me make something clear...I love all people!

This story brought awareness that Black people around the world think alike.


Like I said in "Smacked in the face with a pork chop" I worked at Bear Creek camp. I met a lot of amazing people. Two of those amazing people I met were Joe and Mike. They are both from South Africa. I'm still in contact with them. We are like bothers and sister. I spent most of my summer in Reading doing day camps for bear creek. Joe, mike and I became very close. So, when I was done with a day camp had to return back to bear creek for the weekend. So, this one particular weekend I came back but I had a surprise for Joe and mike...Pops cereal. I walked into the kitchen and I surprised them because they thought I was going to stay in Reading. We hugged and I gave them each a box of Pops cereal.

So we started to eat the cereal and telling funny stories that happened for that week...We were laughing hard. There were some other people in the kitchen with us (all White) and I was looking out the window and i saw something that looked like 5 big boulders moving. I said, "what the hell is that?" And Dallas (the sensitive one) said those are bears. I'm was like, Yo!!! lock all the doors.(All the white people laughed). Joe and Mike knew I was serious because they got up and looked the doors. The bears came and went through the trash and knocking over the trash cans. They were out there for about five mins just messing up the trash cans.

I was still looking out the window and the bears started to walk away. I said, "I think they are leaving." So Dallas said, "lets go get our flashlights and go clean up the trash." Why did all the white people get up and leave to get their flashlights. Joe, Mike and I didn't say a word to each other we just knew we were not going out there. Dallas came back into the kitchen and said, "come on guys we need to clean up the trash. Joe said, "We don't look for shit" we all just looked at Dallas...it was like Joe was our spokesperson..because he was right. How in the hell do we look like going out there and the bears JUST walked away. We could clean up the trash in the morning...you know day time...no bears! I have goals in my life and one of them is not getting my ass whooped and killed by a bear that can't find a Hersey's bar in a trash can.

We continued to eat our cereal and I happen to look out the window...you would think you were at a rave. All you see are lights moving fast. Then you heard screaming and bears roaring. Joe, mike and I started laughing. Now when Dallas and everyone else left. I locked the doors AGAIN. So, 12 people ran into a locked door and they are screaming, "open the door!" I was laughing too much that I couldn't open the door. I finally got the door open and they just fell right in the cabin. They were all out of breath some were still screaming. Then Joe walks up to the pile of white folks and says, "I told you, we don't look for shit!" Joe, Mike and I were still laughing while they were screaming...LOL!

I had to call my mom and tell her what just happened. I told her I just saw the good side of stereotypes. Joe, Mike and I didn't have to say a word to each other..our blackness just was in unity...we didn't have to say anything...We don't look for shit especially when it involves wild animals. Never heard of a black person being killed by a bear...

All I have to say is..."We don't look for shit" and I don't mind this stereotype...it saves lives!

Peace!